The Slow of Esther (One)

Esther was preparing to become a hero.
Esther was becoming a hero.
And she did this by not eating for three days??

That doesn’t quite sit right with me.

Esther was getting in touch with herself, her voice, her power.

Maybe she had to take time for herself, to grow into herself. Maybe formal palace meals were big occasions, and she stayed away from them for a few days while she gathered her courage and formulated her plan. Maybe that's what "fasting" meant.

I don’t think that she didn’t eat during this time. I think that she stayed away from public eating, stayed away from being in public altogether.

She fed herself food, and she also nourished herself by taking space for herself.

And she slowed down.

She slowed down, so she could catch up with herself, start to believe what Mordecai said: maybe this is what I am here for.

This year, I honor each of us in our inner Esther's, as we take the space we need to grow into ourselves. And I honor each of us in our inner Mordecai's, as we support each other to grow.

This year, I wrote down on my calendar that March 1 is the Slow of Esther.

The Slow of Esther (Two)

This year, I wrote down on my calendar that March 1 is the Slow of Esther.

I did not have to cross out "the Fast of Esther" in my calendar, because my calendar didn’t already have "the Fast of Esther" written on that day. Because it’s not a Jewish calendar.

I am an American Jew. I do not live in Israel. I will not be surrounded by fresh hamentaschen of all varieties at the shuk this year. The air I'm breathing in America isn't Jewish.

But I'm breathing Jewishly, infusing the air around me with Torah. And this Torah is both deeply rooted, and new in the moment.

It takes a lot of effort to be Jewish here in America, something I don’t usually notice because I’m so used to it.

In the constant effort it takes to be an observant Jew here in America, a freshness emerges.

And for that, I am grateful.